So as a sufferer of depression and anxiety my life is pretty much like a roller coaster. I have ups and I have downs and right now... I'm the worst down since my mission. I'm going back to counseling next Thursday.

And it's hard. With mental illness, it's not like a broken leg that heals in a month or so and your good for the rest of your life. With mental illness, it's a roller coaster that sometimes you can never, ever get off of. You're stuck on it for the rest of your life and you don't exactly have a choice.

Medication helps yes, and there is no shame in going on medication. Science and medicine are there for a reason and God expects us to use the resources that we have available. However, sometimes that isn't all the help you need. Sometimes you actually have to talk to someone.

The moment I realized that I needed to go back to counseling was yesterday and it was a hard moment. I feel like a failure in some ways because I thought I had this under control, I want this to be under control. So all I can do for now is just hang on, and just realize that I'm not alone in this journey.

Yes, I will have to deal with this for the rest of my life but all I can do is fight the good fight and keep going even though most days are hard and I want to stay in bed all the time. However, I know that I can do this. I can do this.