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Savoring the Little Victories

When you have depression and anxiety the little things become huge. Anything can really become a little victory, it just depends on the day. For example I had a really good day last week, it was almost perfect and for a small moment I was able to forget about my problems. I heavily outlined that day in my journal, I was incredibly grateful for it and the day after was a bad day but I've been slowly learning to take things as they come. It's hard, incredibly hard. I've never really been a big fan of the quote, "Come what may and love it." Why? Because I have a hard time loving the bad days, and not so fantastic moments. I am learning to appreciate the bad days because I have greater joy in the better moments, but like most aspects of life it is going to be something that I will work on for a long time. A quote that one of my companions shared with me on my mission is, "Every day might not be good, but there is good in every day." And that good in every day is those small victories. To other people they may seem rather simple, such as finding the courage to face the day and get out of bed, or making that phone call when you didn't want to talk to anyone, or even leaving the house. But those tiny little victories mean everything at the end of the day. I take great pleasure in writing them down so in the future I can see how I have progressed. Starting this blog was a little victory for me, even when I was on my mission barely anyone knew that I was struggling with anxiety and depression. I was terrified to tell people because of what they might think of me. I still struggle with trying to tell people what is going on with me, and starting this blog was terrifying. But it has brought so much peace because I have realized that my story is helping others, I am cherishing the fact that I was able to even find the courage to hit the "publish" button. I have a long way to go still, this path is not going to be easy, but it's like that blanket I am currently making. One small step at a time eventually leads to a bigger, grander, picture.
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Shelbie Drake

I am a college student at Brigham Young University trying to wade through this crazy thing we call life with my mental illness. I have decided to share my story of trying to deal with mental illness in the hopes that it may help others.

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